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[NOTE: I’m not going to make this a habit because I do want to focus on canonically female characters whether cis or trans, but in this fic both Light & L are transfem!]
“I have a question for Light-chan,” L says, chewing on her fingernail.
They’re in their bedroom — this is not a sentence Light ever expected to say about L of all people, but nevertheless — and L is peering at her with those bottomless black eyes, waiting for her answer.
Light hates her. Light hates her so much. She isn’t Kira, no matter what she might have said in what surely was a moment of madness all those weeks ago, and nothing L can say will change that. She recites these mantras to herself in the mirror sometimes, as though the more times she thinks it the more true it will become.
— Because it is true. Obviously. Light Yagami is a good person.
“What is it, Ryuzaki?” she answers anyway, most congenial smile on.
“Do you prefer vampires or werewolves?”
Light freezes.
Shit. What the hell is L getting at? What’s her strategy here? There’s always something under that still, deceptively open face. Some tripwire Light can feel but not see, coiling under her feet.
What’s the correct answer here?
If I say vampires, my percentage will definitely go up. Vampires are creatures of the night and feed off other people’s misery and pain, but they keep up a facade of propriety and well-meaning, just like Kira does. They also epitomize the ‘femme fatale’ archetype, though, which is definitely not Kira’s style… no, but it’s not Light Yagami’s style either! That’ll just look suspicious! But answering werewolves would look even MORE suspicious — they’re savage and animalistic for just one day per month. Kira acts on all days, sure, but it’s just too out of character for Light Yagami the straight-A’s student to say! L would either think I’m lying or that I’m hiding some big secret if I told her that. But that doesn’t leave me with any good options—
“Light-chan?”
“Yes?” Light says, having thought all of that in approximately 0.2 seconds.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” L says, eyes never leaving her face. “I’m just curious about your honest answer.”
………
What is her honest answer?
In all these stupid thought exercises L’s made her do, favorite My Little Pony character or favorite color or favorite fast food joint, Light’s never actually considered that. It didn’t seem relevant.
Not for the first time recently, Light’s mind wanders back to the moment she’d come out in front of the task force. In retrospect it’d seemed obvious; Light had always hated the words son and man and Mr Yagami, beautiful robes of compliments that scratched into her like thorns. She’d quit sports in junior high because the way tennis was making her look, the comments she’d gotten from teammates, had made her feel like throwing herself into the sea. But when had she realized herself? When had she ever actually figured it out?
Light can’t remember. It bothers her more than she can say.
I’m just curious about your honest answer.
Light, right now, in a room alone with the woman she hates, feels more honest than she’s ever been in her life, and doesn’t know why.
“Neither,” she says.
L blinks. For a second Light panics, because Ryuzaki never blinks. Then: “Interesting. Would Light-chan care to elaborate?”
“I just never got all that into those books,” Light says. Why does she feel like she’s on the edge of a precipice? “I think I felt more like a zombie, back then.”
“And what about now?”
“…I don’t know.”
L leans back in her chair and stares at Light for a beat. Then another.
“If you’re considering raising my Kira percentage I’ll strangle you,” Light says, in complete honesty, her heart jackrabbiting in her chest.
“I might have to after that comment,” L muses. “But never mind that. I’ve been reading a novel recently known as Twilight—”
Light punches her again.
transfem light yagami started out as a joke and is now one of my dearest death note headcanons. whoops! someone save this girl
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