Ship: Gideon Nav/Harrowhark Nonagesimus, The Locked Tomb
Words: 598
Notes: I am extremely sorry about all of this, unless you are familiar with Crusader Kings II in which case I am not sorry about any of this.

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G: harrow

G: HARROW

G: since when have you played crusader kings

H: Since when have I NOT played Crusader Kings?

H: What kind of question is that?

G: ok fine

G: you have a point

G: you could have told me though

H: I thought it would go without saying.

H: Is this not the game most perfectly suited to my machinations?

G: again

G: you have a point

H: I usually do.

G: ok ok but

G: how many hours have you played

H: …

H: I am not answering that question.

G: COME ON

G: ill answer first

G: 4386

G: ok

G: your turn

H: That is impressive given your chronic lack of focus.

G: rude

H: But nonetheless, I am not answering.

G: i can focus just fine on things

G: when i like them

G: for example

G: when the thing is crusader kings

G: you at least have to tell me how many digits are i. The answer

G: look

G: give me something at least

G: how many digits

H: …

G: im not going to stop bothering you about this

H: 5

G: no

G: thats a typo right

H: Five (5).

G: wow

G: you are insane

H: Yes.

H: This is a well-established fact.

H: Please tell me something we did not already know.

G: ok

G: ok ok ok

G: inquiring minds need to know

G: favorite empire

G: its me im the mind

H: Ireland.

G: maybe you heard me wrong

G: i said empire

H: As a merchant republic.

G: ireland is not an empire

H: Oh. You were being literal.

G: a merchant republic?

G: an irish

G: merchant republic

H: Tibet can be fun.

H: But I still prefer Ireland.

G: i guess merchant republics do have some nice casus bellis

G: causes belli

G: casuses belluses

G: whatever the plural is

G: so do you like

G: take the entire atlantic coastline first

G: or what

H: I do not expand beyond the natural borders of Ireland.

G: what

G: what the fuck

G: thats not how y9ou play this game

H: That is PRECISELY how I play this game.

G: but

G: what

G: WHY

H: Playing tall is a completely viable strategy.

G: thats not how this works

G: thats not how any of this works

H: Incorrect.

H: Let me guess.

H: Your sole objective in playing Crusader Kings is to paint the map in your preferred color?

G: duh

G: thats the POINT of the game

H: It's the point of the game when played by dullards with no imagination.

G: excuse me

G: i have plenty of imagination

G: i can imagine so many different ways to conquer the world

H: Of course you can.

H: But can you imagine a way to win WITHOUT conquering the world?

G: NO

G: BECAUSE THEN IT WOULDNT BE WINNING

G: look

G: it seems we are at an impasse

G: i am not going to convince you

G: and you are not going to convince me

G: we need a third party

H: No.

G: to act as a tiebreaker

H: Do not.

*Palamedes has been added to the chat*

G: so palamedes

H: Do not do this.

G: we ahve a question

H: No we don't.

G: you play crusader kings right

G: so

G: what is the correct way to play it

P: oh that's easy!

P: I don't bother with conquest

P: I'm just in it for the royal court drama

*multiple people are typing*